Posts

A Response to the Death of Cory Monteith

/0 Comments/in /by

I was shocked and deeply saddened to learn of the death of Cory Monteith. My heart breaks for his family, friends and Glee costars – but also for all the young people struggling with substance abuse. I wish that celebrities could be positive role models instead of exhibiting a lifestyle of drugs and alcohol for our young generation.

As a writer, my fingers hit the keyboard in response. You can read my two (similar) articles in the links below. If you like my message, please share the articles. We can make a difference, one small act at a time.

Winnipeg Free Press

Victoria Times Colonist

My Memoir “Expecting Sunshine”

/0 Comments/in , , /by

I mentioned in an earlier post that I have written a book. It is one of my greatest passions and I would like to tell you a little about it.

 

On a side note I am presently editing the book, literally as this post flies into your virtual mailbox so to speak, I am scratching out lines, clarifying ideas and biting my nails to hone this work into the best it can possibly be.

 

I began writing “Expecting Sunshine” when I was pregnant with my now year old son Eden. Eden’s older brother died in my arms at birth from a cardiac tumor. Life was impossibly flawed from that moment on. When I became pregnant with Eden, after a difficult time I call my “Year of Distraction,” I realized I must deal with my grief before my next child arrived.

 

“Expecting Sunshine” is about the 40 weeks of pregnancy leading up to Eden’s birth. It shows me at my lowest and ugliest, struggling to let go of one child while my stomach grows with another. “Expecting Sunshine” is an ode to loss, a goodbye to innocence and a picture of the practical struggle of one woman learning to hope and believe again.

 

My goal is to expose my experience and the paths I traveled to find healing after loss. It has been a nightmare but in the end, love is worth it all and my sons, Zachary and Eden, and my daughter Hannah have taught me so much. If I could change my circumstances, I would without a second thought. Of course I can’t, so instead I have labored at grief and “Expecting Sunshine” is my story.

 

As I am new to the publishing game, I am still working out the details in the concrete matter of ‘how will I get my book into your hands,’ but I’m not worried. It will happen when the timing is right.

 

I am extremely passionate about helping others who have lost a child. If that is you, please connect. I’d love to hear from you. If you would like to read “Expecting Sunshine” please let me know, send me your contact info, and I will keep you updated.  Until then, you can read more about my experience on my blog Wanted, Chosen, Planned – Life after the Loss of a Child. 

Drawing Hearts for my Son – The Art of Struggle

/0 Comments/in , /by

Artwork: “Wanted, Chosen, Planned” Mixed Media, September 2010 © Alexis Marie Chute

I was well over halfway to my due date when doctors discovered that my unborn child had a large tumor around his heart. This news began a month and a half of daily testing to determine if there was anything that could be done. There wasn’t and my son Zachary passed away shortly after he was born.

During the month and a half before Zachary’s birthday and death day, I made art. I made art based on the news we were given and the new world of medical technology and imaging that was opened up to me. I was so overwhelmed on a daily basis that art became my therapy. It was a means for me to think about our situation in an effort to make sense of it all. I now know I will never understand the “why” of this tragedy but that creating art in that time was a helpful means to cope.

As the main issue with my son’s condition was the tumor around his heart, I began to draw anatomical hearts using black pen. I made three copies of my favorite drawing using a laser printer and painted three backdrops in flowing reds and blues, two colours associated with blood flow that I watched in real time on the monitor during many fetal echocardiograms of my son’s heart.

I did gel transfers to apply the hearts to the paintings, the abstracted reds and blues of the painted backgrounds showing through the images. I applied a sheer aqua fabric to the areas surrounding the hearts, sewing it on with red thread which I let hang loosely in certain places. The blue, water like effect, references the fact that a heart that is not beating properly, as in the case of my son, causes fluid to build up in a person’s body.

Black bars along the bottom of the compositions anchor the three pieces together and reveal the words that constantly ran through my brain as I struggled in the helplessness of trying to save my son. Wanted. Chosen. Planned. These three concepts became my mantra, my prayer during that dark time.

 

Have you used art to help work through a struggle? Please share your experience.