Rejection as a Badge of Honour

/0 Comments/in , , , /by

Not many people I know talk about how many rejection letters they’ve received. It’s not a popular topic. People would much rather discuss areas of their life that are going well; the job promotion, the award, the scholarship, the blossoming relationship…  And who would blame them?

I, on the other hand, want to talk about rejection. Silly me, I know, but I’ve got rejection on the brain since my latest one arrived. When I was a young writer, rejection was a dirty word, a word I avoided at all costs in hopes of self-preservation. Now, after many years as a professional writer and artist, I have learned that rejection letters are a badge of honour. Let me tell you why.

Alexis Marie Chute writer rejection illustration

Rejections reveal perseverance.

The writer is writing, words are being put to paper, there are ideas being explored. This is the first hurtle of every creative person, to believe enough in one’s own work to create in the first place.

Rejections reveal courage.

The writer is brave enough to submit and query which in itself is a terrifying process likened to a blind date. The palms sweat but there is hope and curiosity – and who knows how it will turn out? It takes vulnerability and belief in one’s self to put the work out there. It’s admirable, commendable, and just plain heroic actually.

Rejections reveal humanity.

Most writers curse the form letter that arrives in the mail or, heaven help us, the email (I loathe rejection emails by the way – unless the query was sent by email in the first place.) I remember feeling terribly down, and shedding a tear on occasion, after receiving my early rejections. They stung – but that in itself was evidence of loving the craft, profession and the calling of being a writer. If it didn’t sting, it would show a writer cared little for their work.

Rejections reveal determination.

What is the writer’s response? Determination rises up in the face of the lost opportunity. It says, “Screw it. I’m not done yet!” and get’s back to work. It asks, “What can I do to improve my writing? Where should I send this query next? What of my writing would better fit this particular publication? How can I become even better at what I do?”

When I was a kid, Mom repeated a phrase to me over and over until I ate, slept and breathed it: If at first you don’t succeed, try and try again.

I am proud to announce that I have received over fifty (5-0!) rejection letters for my writing and artwork as of this week. I’m actually at 52 and that is just my record over the last few years where I’ve kept track. Fifty. 50. It’s an accomplishment. I stopped fretting over rejections at around the 30-mark and now just swear, sit once again at my desk and continue on.

Alexis Marie Chute writer rejection illustration image 2

The fiftieth anniversary gift is traditionally gold but for now a pat on the back will suffice. Yes, it’s my own hand doing the congratulating, it’s a good arm stretch really, a needed break from all the typing. Writing is a solitary act and if you can’t give yourself a pep talk, you’re in for trouble.

If I were to time travel back to my earlier self and offer encouragement, this is what I would say:

Keep writing. Never give up. The rejections will always bite but eventually you’ll learn to bite back. It does get easier. One day at a time. Success is for those that believe in themselves and their work. Good luck!

 

How many rejection letters have you received? How do you cope? 

 

MFA Creative Writing Reflections

/0 Comments/in , , , , , /by

How do I feel finishing my first year as a creative writing MFA grad student? Thank you for asking.

I feel:

  • Exhausted
  • Excited
  • Proud
  • Motivated
  • Educated
  • Ready for a vacation!

When I reflect on my first year at Lesley University, it’s apparent that I like to challenge myself. Oh the leisurely life of a slacker… that has never been me. In my first year I have experienced creative and craft breakthrough, honed my voice and forced myself to edit like a samurai. It has really has paid off. I have developed an awesome work ethic when it comes to my writing. It’s not always fun, but I sit my but in the chair (or stand at my make-shift standing desk) and get to work. I love being productive and that is a reward in itself many days.

My MFA program has not been all work and no play. I LOVE (love, love, love) my school residencies and count many of my peers dear friends. Sometimes I daydream about them, wonder what they are up to in their part of the world, hope that their writing is going fabulously and of course eagerly anticipate seeing them at the next residency.

 

Over the last year, as a writer I have learned:

  • To never give up
  • Following your passions involves sacrifice
  • Sleep is often optional
  • The harder you work the better you become

 

Over the last year, as a human being I have learned:

  • To see the beauty in every person and hope for the best
  • When busy with your passions, make every moment with loved ones quality time
  • Regular, boring life can inspires greatness
  • Family time is never optional

 

The craziest part of my exhaustion after the first year? I am already considering my PhD options. Go figure!

This coffee mug was given to me by my second semester mentor, Pam Petro. It’s become my, “I’m a writer” mug, and I love it.

Alexis Marie Chute MFA creative writing Lesley University coffee cup 2 blog

My Writing Process

/1 Comment/in , , , , , , , /by

 

First of all, welcome guests to my new writer & author website! It has been a serious labor of love getting this site off the ground and I am so thankful for my amazing husband who devoted countless hours to learning code and making this dream a reality. Thank you Aaron!

Now, onto exciting business! My friend and fellow writer, Sabrina Fedel, challenged me to the “My Writing Process” blog tour. Sabrina is a MFA in Creative Writing Alum from Lesley University, where I am currently a grad student. Was I up for the blog tour challenge? Absolutely!

 

1. What am I working on?

I am on the final leg of editing my memoir about my pregnancy following the death of my second child. Editing this book has been challenging because I must constantly place myself back in the midst of an emotionally devastating time of my life – but I’m almost done! I am also working on essays for multiple publications including my ongoing column in Flurt Magazine. I write a great deal every single day and in a wide range of topics from art, grief and healing, self-esteem, the writer’s life, social commentary and profiles on interesting people. Not to mention blogging: www.AlexisMarieArt.com, www.WantedChosenPlanned.com, www.AlexisMarieWrites.com, and soon www.AlexisMariePhoto.com – I blog a lot! I find all this writing exciting and the variety refreshing. Also in the mix, I am in the planning stages of my next book… but more on that in months to come.

 

2. How does my work differ from others of its genre?

This is the single most important question that every writer must define for themselves in order to be a success.

Regarding my current memoir, I believe what sets my work apart is its raw authenticity and vulnerability. I show myself at my worst; the darkest moments where I struggle and fail as a human being as I mourn my child and wrestle with my marriage and faith. It is scary to imagine others reading my book because it exposes so much, but at the same time I believe that the honesty I portray will resonate with others who have also lost a child and those that have experienced any kind of trauma. In the end, I hope this vulnerability will inspire and help readers as they navigate their own path to healing.

In the other writing that I do, the articles, essays, reviews, interviews; I believe my work makes people stop and ponder and even just laugh at life. These things are essentially me and are traced along each letter of every piece of my work.

 

3. Why do I write what I do?

In many ways I believe my current writing on bereavement and art for healing chose me, not the other way around. When my son died, he gave me a voice, passion and something important to say. That’s why I write what I do, it’s a legacy for my son birthed from empathy for others and a desire to be an encouragement.

At the same time, I do not want my work to be solely defined by this one niche. There is a lot I have to say and these new directions can be seen in all the current writing I am doing. I will always write from the place of a healing individual, because that is who I am, but I also have a cheeky side to my new work that I am excited to develop.

 

4. How does my writing process work?

My process is simple, really. I have 24 hours a day, just like everyone else. I say to myself, “Let’s see how much I can get accomplished,” and make a game out of it. If I have six hours to work but eight hours worth of work to do, I push myself and see how productive I can be.

My working process is like a race; sometimes I sprint, sometimes I jog, every once in a while I walk. My bad days are a slow limp – but I am always moving. I never stop. This relentless determination is a trait I got from my Mom. There is literally no stopping me and I will never give up.

In a passion/business like writing, perseverance is key.

While challenging myself, I always strive to be positive and accept that I am doing the best I can. It’s not always easy to show myself grace and understanding. I’m a pretty strict boss and I get along quite well with the drill sergeant in me. She barks out orders because there are always a plethora of deadlines and this energy fuels me to push myself to the limit.

My office chair is always warm; I sit down and get to work. Each and every day. I don’t give myself time for procrastination. It’s this ‘focus and get it done’ work ethic that energizes me. I love the feeling I get when I’ve accomplished something and that reward is highly motivating.

 

That’s it! That’s my writing life in a nutshell.

So, how about you? Are you up for the challenge? What is your writing process?

(Comment below or post on your own site and then share the link here.)

Here are some of my friend’s writing processes:

Sebrina Fedel

Cynthia Platt 

Don’t Stare Directly at Writer’s Block

/0 Comments/in , /by

 

With the 3-Day Novel Contest less than a week away writer’s block is already trying to psych me out. The contest is a 3 day challenge to write a novel at sonic speed. It takes place the September long weekend and provides the ultimate writing sprint. This is my first year participating so I don’t fully know what to expect.

 

Apart from the actual writing itself, my sneaky writer’s block already whispers in my ear:

  • Your newborn will cluster feed and cry all weekend, you won’t be able to get anything done.
  • Your two year old will miss you; she’ll bang on the office door and scream the undeniable call, “Mommmmmy!”
  • You’ll grow lonely while all your family and friends are hanging out enjoying the last of the summer sun and eating tasty BBQ.

 

Then my writer’s block moves on to pre-emptive strikes against my writing process:

  • There is not enough time – you are too much of a perfectionist.
  • You don’t have enough experience. Who are you? You think you can write a novel?
  • The plot you are imagining has holes.
  • Your characters are flat.
  • Your fingers can’t type fast enough!
  • The jokes you write are only funny in your own head.
  • If you chicken out, no one will know.

 

That’s the catch, though, I will know. I will know if I don’t give it my all or fail to finish the race. This scenario would mean defeat at the hands of my nemesis. I am aware of what I must do: Wage war on the writer’s block that attempts to floor me before the 3 days have even begun.

 

My technique leading up to the weekend: Don’t look writer’s block directly in the eye. If I distract myself from the practicalities and instead focus on preparations, day dream about my characters and lose myself in imaginings of plot and structure – then somehow I can actually avoid thinking about the writing itself, the part that really gets my nerves quivering.

 

I am sharing my fears and telling everyone I know that I am in the contest because I need the accountability. If I write about writer’s block here on my blog, somehow its evil whispers wither in power. I am choosing not to chicken out before or mid-race –but it helps to know that everyone else expects me to push through as well.

 

Please ask me, come next Tuesday, “How did it go?”

 

Over the next three days I will be posting ways to combat writer’s block. Check back for helpful ideas.

Never Give Up

/0 Comments/in , , /by

The saying goes:

“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.” – Anonymous

My version, and you can quote me on this:

“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, try, try, try again a thousand times. If then, you still have not succeeded, try again a thousand times more.” – Alexis. Marie Chute

What Carolyn See and the Labyrinth can teach us about responding to Rejection Letters

/0 Comments/in , , /by

One of the most challenging aspects of being an artist and writer is getting your work out there. Submitting to galleries or publications, followed by the torturous wait, is certainly more stressful than actually creating the work in the first place. Add to the struggle the subjectivity of creative art fields and the fact that you could catch the curator or editor on a bad day thereby cementing the likelihood of them mailing back to you the generic rejection letter that makes us all cringe. Or better yet, the rejection email. I am blown away by a response to a submission via email – Where is professionalism these days? Are not the laborious hours that go into a submission worth one piece of paper and a stamp?

No matter how many times you chant to yourself, “Thick skin, thick skin, thick skin,” each rejection cuts deeply and wounds our artist heart. Somehow it feels like a rejection of not only the art but the artist as well. It is easy to get discouraged, mope around the house, polish off a pail of ice cream and mourn the opportunity like a relationship.

“You are really great, but there are lots of fish in the sea and I just don’t think you are right for me. Can we still be friends?”

AKA

“We have received an unprecedented number of quality submissions and unfortunately you have not been selected. This does not reflect your work. Please visit the gallery again soon.”

I do have a plan for dealing with these unpleasant rejection letters. What is my secret weapon? It’s as profound as it is simple and holds the power to completely change the vibe upon rejection.

Simple answer:

Carolyn See’s charming notes combined with the movie the Labyrinth.

Long answer:

In the book, “Making a Literary Life, Advice for Writers and Other Dreamers” by Carolyn See, there are many useful tips, but one of the best is See’s admonition to write charming notes. She has a whole chapter on what she recommends be a daily practice of writing a charming note to an individual that inspires you or to professionals in your field, but later in her book she talks specifically about rejection.

See suggest that we immediately, within the very hour of reading the rejection letter, write and mail a charming note back to the person who sent it to us. It is a simple note, something like, “Thank you for your rejection letter. I appreciate the time you took to review my submission. I wish my work had worked for you right now but I will send along more shortly.”

The important part of this process is the shifting of power. When the rejecter sends you their form letter, the power rests in their hands. It’s almost like them having the last word. No one should have the final word on your art but you – that is my firm belief. What See suggests is that writing a charming note back immediately shifts the power, a highly spiritual act that puts you back in a good state mentally and emotionally.

I have done this for my last handful of rejection letters. Upon first reading the words “Unfortunately your work has not been chosen,” the whole physiology of my being seemed to deflate, but once I sat down and wrote out a response, even if words were hard to find, I instantly felt like I could breathe again. It was as if I could let it go once I took the power back into my own hands.

“I have the final say on my artwork, I believe in myself, I create the life I wish for myself.” This is my personal mantra.

Remember the movie Labyrinth from 1986 starring Jennifer Connelly as Sarah? It’s an oldie but a goodie.  The basic plot is that Sarah must run through a nonsensical labyrinth to save her baby brother Toby from Jareth, the Goblin King, played by David Bowie. Close to the end of the movie the glass shatters on the Goblin King’s pretty illusions when Sarah comes to the great revelation, “You have no power over me.”

I have watched the Labyrinth a hundred times and will never forget Sarah’s realization and in a silly yet intentional way I say it to myself once I read a rejection letter, I say it to myself upon filing it away, I say it to myself as I write a charming note back to the sender and I say it to myself every day as I choose the life I wish to lead. “You have no power over me” and they don’t.